How To Stop a Crush

Crushes are inconvenient and time consuming. We as collegiates just don’t need that crap in our lives. Crushes may be healthy, but maybe we don’t want to be healthy! As college students, we have better things to worry about than if we look hot for our crush. We are strong, independent collegiates, and we don’t need no crush! So if you’re developing an inconvenient crush, this article will help you stop it.

Here are some tips and tricks that will help you forget about your crush and revamp your life! Because crushes are stupid and we won’t let them control our lives.

• Remind yourself of his faults – Maybe he has different religious/political views. Maybe he likes cats but you’re a dog person. These differences obviously cannot be reconciled.
• Remind yourself why you are good at being single – Spend all day by yourself and revel in the freedom of doing anything that you want. Like staying in bed all day. Or not wearing pants.
• Spend a day with friends – Go get mani pedis and spend money you don’t have.
• Do your homework – Just do it.
• Take a nap – Sleep heals all wounds.
• Look up your horoscope – Just don’t look at your love horoscope.
• Commit to a Netflix binge – DO NOT NETFLIX AND CHILL I REPEAT DO NOT NETFLIX AND CHILL
• Go to the dollar store and buy random stuff – It’s fun.
• Eat something you like – Chocolate can help you forget men.
• Go to the pet store – Animals are better than boys.
• Join the gym – Go die slowly in the gym, and you’ll soon forget a guy when you’re drenched in sweat.
• Pick up a new hobby – Ice skating, croquet, whatever.
• Go thrifting –  Buy random stuff that other people don’t want! Treat yourself to clothing that makes you happy – no one else!
• Have an ANTM marathon – Tyra will teach you how to be fabulous by yourself!
• Do a Pinterest craft – Bake a tie dye cake or make a dream board.
• Start a journal – Write about your day. Your day in which you did not think about your non-existent crush.
• Read a book – Nothing romantic. How about a gruesome murder mystery?
• Babysit and remember you don’t want kids yet – Babies are cute but also something YOU DO NOT WANT ANY TIME SOON
• Organize your closet – And then go shopping.
• Make an anti-love playlist – Avril Lavigne is good for this. Also Sara Bareilles.
• DO NOT HANG OUT WITH HIM – Cancel long-standing plans with your friend group if he’ll be there. If he’s in your class, sit really far away from him, or better yet, drop the class.
• Deny, deny, deny – You don’t like him. You really don’t like him. No, really guys, you don’t like him.

So basically, you could do all of this and it might not help. If that’s the case, you might have a full blown crush that you should probably just embrace. Or you could live in denial like me; it works pretty well for a while. Crushes are normal and will go away eventually….right?  No seriously guys, when will my crush end?