The Do’s and Dont’s of Long Distance Relatioships

In yesterday’s world, there was snail mail and the rare visits. There were also small gifts exchanged, even if the two lovers were oceans apart.
In today’s world, we have texting, skype, airplanes, skype, Facebook, Instagram, and did I mention skype? We are more than likely able to survive the distance, even if it means not seeing their face until late on a Friday night. Instead of going on movie dates together, there is Netflix over Skype. It is now easier than ever to communicate with others, even if they are thousands of miles away from you.
Let’s go back in time to when I was about to enter my first long distance relationship. A year and one month ago, I got back in contact with a friend from high school, we only knew each other on our debate team, and we were, I guess, the couple that suddenly happened. Let me lay down some more information for you all, my long distance relationship, or ldr, in other words, was not the traditional we live in separate States permanently, we were military. My boyfriend of one year and one month is a United States Marine, and has served for four years, and I am the girlfriend that remains at home and keeps herself busy. Fortunately, he will be out very soon for good, and what an adventure it was, although it was only for a year. I got a taste of how troubling this relationship was going to be, and I will admit there were times that I wanted to give up and find a local guy, but I didn’t stop, I kept going, and here we are now, happier and still in love.
When placing yourself in this sort of relationship, or any type, there is plenty of things to think of before voyaging into a world filled with unknowns. Starting off, here is a list of do’s:

1: DO Skype!
In this relationship, Skype is your best friend, don’t deny it! When it comes down to wanting to talk face-to-face, but not being able to make it to each other, Skype is there to be your guide to seeing one another.

2: DO be patient!
Sure, sometimes long distance is frustrating, but it can be just as hard on the other. Distance is hard, and sometimes obstacles are in the way that prevent you from seeing each other in real life. I.e. flight costs, schedule conflicts, no texting for a while.
3: DO have trust!
It’s hard trusting people in this generation, but in order to survive this relationship, you must put trust into each other. If you feel like something is wrong, don’t be afraid to address it to them, that’s what the other is there for.

4: DO talk things out over the phone vs. texting/messaging!
Let’s face it, it is very easy to pretend to care or even lie about how we feel over text instead of hearing the other person over the phone. It’s more mature to talk things out over the phone, no matter how serious the situation is. It’s always best to hear if the person is being sincere or not, and it will cause less tension in your relationship.

5: DO make a playlist!
When things become blurry, and it doesn’t seem like anyone understands or cares, create a playlist of songs that make you think of your SO. If it helps any, create a collaboration playlist between you and your SO, so you will both have some songs that remind you both of each other.

Now, let’s transition into the don’t’s:

1: DON’T get mad when miscommunications occur!
This will happen, quite a lot. I mean, a lot. I don’t mean getting disconnected from Skype, but not hearing from them for a long time will happen. Don’t be afraid to approach them and see how they are doing.

2: DON’T try and control them!
It’s more than likely they will their own lives as well, and they wouldn’t mind sharing it with you, just don’t make it seem like they should only be communicating with you.

3: DON’T cheat!
For the love of ricotta cheese, don’t cheat on them! If you feel like you can’t handle dating long distance anymore, be open and tell them, don’t keep it bottled up and cheat. No one likes a cheater, nor would they want to spend the rest of their lives with one.

4: DON’T be afraid to make connections!
There is a very likely chance you will meet someone who is in the same boat as you—grab some ice cream, go see a movie, or plan future dates with them and their long distance SO.

5: DON’T be in this relationship unless you plan to stick around!
Long distance is not a game, and neither is love. Love is a special type of emotion that everyone feels, so don’t make it hard on them and have them think you will hurt them in any way. Always be open, and create memories even you are not together in the same town.

This concludes the list. My boyfriend and I have only seen each other four times out of our whole relationship. This is common, and it will happen to most of us. My boyfriend ends soon, and will be back in my arms very soon. I cannot wait, and I wish you all, either beginning the ldr, or still living it, the best of luck, and create those memories.