Thoughts You Have at an Ed Sheeran Concert When You’re Not a Superfan

Last week I went to see Ed Sheeran’s concert in Washington D.C., where it was surprisingly easy to find street parking. This was a last minute thing for me, as a friend recently acquired an extra ticket. It was funny because earlier in the day before I got the ticket, I was remarking that I thought I could totally marry Ed Sheeran, nbd. I’m not a super fan, but I love listening to Ed on a rainy day. Before the concert and a little during and after, I tweeted Ed pleading for friendship. Or his HBOgo password.

https://twitter.com/Celi_Cienta/status/646436114002243588

• Christina Perri is killin it…even though half the seats are still empty when she starts.
• Apparently I know a lot of Christina Perri songs.
• Ed Sheeran doesn’t have a band? He has a weird foot sound recorder thing.
• Okay techy people, we get that you want to show off, but instead of showing graphic design Ed on the screens, could we actually see his face? Cuz section 400 can’t see literally anything.
• Does Ed even control his twitter account? Some lady in a business suit is probably reading my tweets right now.

https://twitter.com/Celi_Cienta/status/646433365059575808

• Why are the twelve year olds in front of me here without an adult?
• If you’re twelve, can you really appreciate a concert?
• Why did the twelve year olds get such crummy seats if they were going to spend $50 in merch anyways?
• Should these twelve year olds be hearing Ed Sheeran? Because he is using some inappropriate language and innuendos. It’s probably fine though, the kids probably don’t know what he means.
• Dude our section does not give a fudge about standing up, we’re like back row bapstists #backrowconcertgoers
• Section 400 is chill AF. Nobody standin, not too many people yelling, no signs, no one has any hope of actually seeing Ed Sheeran. We are all on the same level here in sections 400-430.
• What am I supposed tot think about during these love songs? I’m not in love and haven’t been in a while, so am I supposed to think about Ed Sheeran ? I’m not that delusional though, so I guess I’ll just think about my cat? Or the day I’ll be debt free?

https://twitter.com/Celi_Cienta/status/646435783172341760

• How much did the people with floor seats pay? And why would they pay that much to stand for 2 hours and not even meet Ed Sheeran?
• Are there parents in the floor seats wasting a precious floor seat? Do they even know who Ed Sheeran is? They probably think he’s on Disney channel.
• If you have a backstage pass, do you just see Ed for like one second? What’s the point? Let’s not pretend we’re friends.

https://twitter.com/Celi_Cienta/status/646433879545511936

• If I bribe a security guard, can they sneak me to Ed?
• Maybe I should work at a place like this…but then I’d have to work sports stuff…so no.
• Has Ed Sheeran dated that many girls? How many times has he been in love? Maybe he just writes songs about different aspects of the same 1 or 2 relationships.

After the concert, I tweeted Ed to give him one last chance at being my best friend.

https://twitter.com/Celi_Cienta/status/646440000612118528

Sadly, there was no announcement over the speakers that Ed Sheeran wanted to meet me so we could be best friends. There wasn’t even a tweet.