Opposite Sex Friends: True or False?

The long-lived debate of guy and girl. No, not happily ever after with the white picket fence and baby, but instead in the anonymity of casual friendship. The ability to indulge and invest in one another, without use of the heart. Possible? Can the opposite sex be conservative friends, without one party developing feelings and wanting more? Is the reason the friendship exists to begin with proof that one side is attracted? The guy best friend. Urban legend, or realistic side kick? We explore the notion of “just friends,” to determine if it’s just that simple. Besides, guy plus girl equals the tree incident, remember? K-I-S-S-I-N-G…..you get the idea. So if the opposite party is meant for attraction and eye candy, can this be possible? Or do we find ourselves in a Freddie Prinze movie, stuck in “friend zone?” If you are shaking your head or confused about what’s difficult, you are the platonic one. Those who are nodding and now caught in thought of “him,”or “her,” you are the friend who secretly loves.

I don’t believe its possible. If a man and woman are friends, one of them has feelings. If you are flabbergasted by this mention, and are counting on your fingers right now how many opposite sex friends you have…..you are not the one lovestruck. Consider it: what does man and woman provide for one another, that same-sex friends do not or can not? Appeal. So when hanging out is permissible, it’s a compromise to the heart. It’s a “let me get my foot in the door,” moment that turns into a year’s relationship of “Him? He’s just my friend.” The whole time you wish your potential was noticed, the chemistry was shared, and the chance was taken. I hear the snickers. I’m wrong, right? You have known each other for ever, or perhaps they offer that “other side,” perspective. Or, or, or – perhaps you have not considered the perspective of that other side.

So when I was a part of the single movement, I could completely relate with the notion of guy friends. It’s an affirmation that your attractive, desirable, and intriguing. Like it or not, we enjoy the attention that “singledom,” affords us, and who better than him? Our girlfriends are great for the juicy stuff. The break ups. The double dates. The ice cream binges. The lets put our hair up and make it a Ryan Gosling movie night type ordeal. Sure, they compliment you, reassure you, hug you, pick you up emotionally, and attend the occasional “stalking,” event when your ex has someone new. All necessary nights. All. But that guy friend….hes the no brainer. He’s the non-commitment compliment that keeps giving. We need that. Maybe it never becomes something more, but it was always about something more.

Now lets move into taken territory. What benefit does a man give when officially with another? The need for that male attention or counterpart is filled. Your girlfriends probably barely get your time now, so intertwining another alpha is no longer necessary. The flirtations cease, unless you truly just revel in the attention. Again, if you run your mouth about your lover’s perfections to your friend with an appreciation for his ear, you are not clear on his feelings. He is there with the intent of being close, your happiness is nauseating. Some people are ego-maniacs, and just love the attention of many, all shapes, sizes, and genders. So the idea of misplaced relationships will be fleeting and unrecognized. However, to those who enjoy the connections, just keep in mind the extension of it. How did it start? Why? What do you do together? Time is of an issue, and when shared, its done with reason. Never is company in vain, just often times not understood or reciprocated.

So back to the question. False. Opposite sex friendships carry an attraction, so if you don’t feel it, it’s felt by your counterpart. There is never a completely platonic opposite sex union, because there would no point of existence. Your girls could supply everything that guy does, and maybe even better, but they may not be easy on the eyes.