That Time I Went On A Tinder Date With A Possible Drug Dealer

What do you do when you’re single in New York City? You use dating apps, of course! Tinder just happens to be the app I got results with…even if those results were strange. Well, this summer in NYC I went on a very interesting Tinder *date.

*Is it really a date if there was no coffee and you never saw each other in daylight?

Usually when I use dating apps I talk to the guys for a while before I meet up with them – which is why I don’t meet most of them. Most of the time I find out something freaky about the guy I’m talking to and that’s that. However, my talk with Dan (I changed his name in case he ever finds this and tries to sue me for slander or whatever) was not that long.

So our online messaging wasn’t too thorough, but I learned some random things about him. He told me he had “a very interesting life” that “wouldn’t exactly be textable.” Suspicious? Maybe. He also said he wasn’t a pet person, which should have been a red flag, right? He said he had done a lot of interesting things in his “young life.” What does that mean Dan?  He proceeded to tell me he worked in sales and was randomly going to move to Asia in October, and that he just got back from a road trip to Canada.

A day or two after he had sent the initial message I had told him about my furniture moving plans for the day, and he suggested a meet up if I took a break. I of course took this as a “eh we might meet up” and didn’t take it seriously. When I finally took a break at 10pm-ish I told him we could meet up if he was free. So he took the train an hour to meet me at my favorite park, aka the park 3 minutes from my apartment. Why did I think it was a smart idea to meet a stranger in a park after dark? But my friends were smart and walked me to the park, where I thought they would wait for me on a bench somewhere. In actuality they followed us around throughout the whole date…which was probably good.

He called me when he got to the park, and after a while I saw him – he was a hottie! He was tall and athletic with a nice man bun. He apparently left his friend’s house while they were playing some b-ball, so he was in his sporty clothes. Like, dude, I didn’t mean to stop your game, we could have met at a different time, but hey, I mean he insisted. So we start walking around the park (apparently being followed by my friends the whole time, but I never noticed) and wander through the different paths, sitting on random benches from time to time. He told me about himself – but would never elaborate on his job.

He kept saying how much he loves travel and talking about his past crazy adventures and such. But he also kept saying that he lived in a poor area. And that he was very successful in sales without a college degree. Which I totally believe is possible, but, I don’t know, what he was saying didn’t really add up 100%. He was very good at answering questions without really answering them. But maybe he was just mysterious?

While we were sitting on the last bench we visited, a homeless man asked if Dan wanted to buy me a rose, Dan offered, but I didn’t want him to feel obligated, so I said no and the hobo moved on to some people further down on a different bench, WHO JUST HAPPENED TO BE MY FRIENDS. Luckily Dan was too entranced by my melodious laughter that he didn’t notice…I think.  I had told him from the beginning that I needed to leave at midnight like Cinderella, so at 12 on the dot I walked him to the subway station and we parted ways.

I will never know if he was a successful salesman or a drug dealer.

Honestly guys, this was my most successful Tinder experience to date, if that tells you anything. I did learn a few things through this experience:

1. Maybe don’t meet people in NYC parks at night?
2. Allow your friends to follow you
3. Salespeople/drug dealers are nice people
4. I don’t think Tinder is actually going to help me form real relationships

Comment below if you think I should text him and straight up ask if he deals drugs.