Why Social Media Has Made Me Less Social

Since the beginning of time, people have created ways to share stories and information. To cut corners a bit, we had verbal storytelling, cave paintings (among other things), and eventually the written word. At first, people used stories as a form of entertainment and a tool for unwinding at the end of a long day. Of course, we still do this now through movies, theatre, and the ever-elusive “book,” but social media has allowed us to take entertainment multiple steps further from mere fiction; it has become a portal into the very detailed lives of our peers that we take the liberty of embellishing and destroying as we please. We’re all guilty of it—the Facebook stalking, the sting of envy when our last friends from elementary school get engaged, the excuses we formulate for ourselves when on #TransformationTuesday people post their glorious before and after pictures while we promise to “go to the gym tomorrow” after our fifth consecutive cheat day. Why is it that all the information that should make us happy for our friends (or acquaintances, at most) only makes us feel worse about ourselves? Moreover, why do we continue to scroll even when our cynicism and criticisms increase? The answer: People love drama.

Let me expand with a common example. A guy you knew in high school breaks up with his girlfriend of four years. He was the hunk of the chunk, she was the girl with the prettiest smile, and they had been together since freshman year. You, of course, see the breaking news on your news feed: Gaston Prettyboy is now Single. Brace yourself for all of the things you can do with this announcement.

Call your friend – You need someone to share the news with, right? After all, you DO remember that your best friend has had the most massive crush on Mr. Prettyboy since, well, forever. In both your brainwashed heads, now is the perfect time to make a move! I mean, who cares if you knew his ex, you don’t even talk to her anymore, right?

Subs are for dubs – While you’re on the phone, Gaston’s ex puts up a status: “If only someone would take me out tonight *sad face emoji*.” Um, what? Does that mean that she’s over him? Why is she over it so quickly? How? Aw, maybe she’s just really sad and she needs someone to cheer her up. No, she’s definitely trying to make him jealous. Gosh, what an attention whore!

Recon – Time to investigate. *See more. See more. See more.* Gasp! Wait, is that a snap of Gaston hugging that girl that was on the top left corner of his default pic in ’08 from the back?! Wait, does that status from three weeks ago mean that she knew he was going to break up with her? I wonder if he cheated. Or maybe she did…

After all this, you hang up the phone, you notice you don’t have any ice cream left, you look at yourself in the mirror and you ask, “What has become of me?” Actually, that’s what every decent person on Earth wishes you would realize so that maybe you can get offline and focus on yourself for a change. What is it with our fascination of everyone’s life besides our own? Why do we feel validated by judging everyone else? Does it make us better? No. It emphasizes our insecurities because the flaws we see in others are actually inside us and the most common defense mechanism of our time is to pinpoint what we think is wrong with everyone else so that we don’t have time to realize how awful we are. This online behavior has repelled me from social media, at least the kind that exists for the amusement of others, because why spend so much time updating your profile, choosing the best default picture, and trying to prove to the world how awesome you are when you know you’ll never be good enough for the vultures?

Own yourself, and watch how they fly to those who are afraid to.